Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Wallpaper Fetish

Every now and then I feel like a change of wallpaper on my computer. Mostly the new desktop livery comes from a rather vast collection I already have. More about that later.
My taste in wallpaper manages to be both specific and unspecific simultaneously. It must be minimalistic: as simple as possible, yet incorporate some form of humour or quip. Here are some or my favourites.

When he hunger strikes, it's usually more akin to a desire for a biscuit. It quickly turns to a ravishing hunger, however. It may start with a thought chain that results in a desire to have a wallpaper containing/referencing the result of said chain. More often than not, however, the search comes from no more than a desire to have a new wallpaper, one which cannot be satisfied from the existing collection. Once the seed of thought has been sown, it cannot be suppressed. Add theatrical "dun, dun, dun" at your own discretion.

In the former case it inevitably begins with Google, and the wallpaper-hunter must go with the proverbial in search of satisfaction. In the latter case, my first port of call is the wallpaper subreddit (or r/wallpapers). Here the wonderfully tasteful folk of the internet post their creations and discoveries, often even their collections. 

This is the point - the search - at which the strangeness begins. I am unsure what happens, maybe it's a sort or modern take on primeval instincts taking over. I don't know. All I do know is that it happens to me. Much time can pass, many links are opened in new tabs for further inspection, a considerable portion of those are closed without their content being downloaded. The criteria that must be met is very specific and covers many subtle bases, yet the mental computation to their suitability takes about the same amount of time as it takes for my fingers to stroke Ctrl + W for those deemed unfit. 

It is a sort of trance, I think, and like most trances coming out of it is not straightforward. It is arguably strange in both scenarios: the case when the trance simply comes to a blurry end, and the human-provoked version. In the former case, the preceding time spent acquiring new desktop adornments is unclear, the main evidence of the events within that period is the new directory stocked with 16:9 goodness, and a sort of sleepiness - very bizarre. The latter is pretty much the same, with the exception of it beginning with a severe shock, and this is orders of magnitude worse when the provocation is a question. Most - if not all - of the question is delivered while the questionee is under, making the process of answering all the more difficult while still trying to figure out what way is up, and disguise the fact that you were in wallpaper auto-pilot for a considerable period of time.

I am keen to hear of any other folks who suffer from this, or those who are similarly evolved. I am also keen to simply hear from folk who feel that having a simple, classy, and subtly humorous wallpaper makes the time spent at the computer seem a whole lot easier and more pleasant. I genuinely feel a little sad for the folks who have default wallpapers, so little desire for individuality; do they care!? Replies welcomed, regardless which team in the desktop garnish-league you may play for.

For those interested, searches of this severity have happened 6 times to date; recorded by the number of separate directories of wallpapers, each from a different event. I may even post my collection if enough interest is generated.

(Written while listening to a combination of Kerbdog - On The Turn; P.O.D - Greatest Hits, The Atlantic Years; Pearl Jam - Rearview Mirror (Disc 2)) 

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